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06 March 2011 @ 01:43 am
It's days like yesterday that make me wish I could just curl up with Autumn and take a nap and cuddle allll day. My poor little girl has an upper respiratory infection. It just onset yesterday, but when my mom took her in to the doctor today (I was going to but I couldn't call in to work because I'd lose my job... great place I work) they told her if we had waited any longer it's very likely that she could have been in the hospital with pneumonia. So now, my baby is on 2 antibiotics and has to take breathing treatments twice a day. I cuddled her for a bit tonight, and at bed time she went down without a fight. I just wanted to keep cuddling her :/. I feel soooo bad for her.

And then on top of it, I worked from 8 this morning to 3 this afternoon. Was told I had to wait until 1 to take my lunch (I wanted it at 11). I was starving and they KNOW that I take my lunch between 11 and 11:30 EVERYDAY. Is it that hard to grab someone real fast to cover my lunch... Jewelry wasn't busy- she could have done it.

I'm getting frustrated just typing this.

On the up side, however, I did a great job cleaning the bathroom, organizing the storage closet, and Ben and I did a fantastic job on the living room. Now we just have to finish the kitchen and entry area... then we're done cleaning for a bit! Now, off to bed so I can get up and do so tomorrow!
Current Mood: accomplished
28 February 2011 @ 11:01 am
I have been reading the blog of a couple who recently lost their for month old daughter. I feel so bad for the couple. This was their first child, she had never been sick, and they have NO IDEA what caused this to happen. The doctor's best guess so far is SIDS.

I already knew that I was so lucky to have Autumn, but reading about this couples life before their beautiful daughter, Maddie, was born... and then reading what they are going through now gives me an all new appreciation for my little girl. If anything were to ever happen to Autumn, I don't know how I would find the strength to go on, but this woman and her husband have been doing it. I really don't think that I could. I have all of the respect in the world for this family. I am praying for you and know that a lot of my thoughts are with you.

There is an auction that opened today... all proceeds going to the Staats:


The Staats blog is at this address: http://kandjstaats.blogspot.com/
25 February 2011 @ 10:38 am
Which five songs would you absolutely play at your friend's wedding reception, and why?

I would definately play:

1. Your Love is My Drug by Ke$ha- It's our song. We are kinda Ke$ha freaks... love her to death and we jam to this all of the time.
2. Beat Dat Beat by DJ Pauly D- IT'S T-SHIRT TIME... need I say more?
3. The Shoop Shoop Song- we enjoy singing it together.
4. The Casper Slide- We'll get down low... down to the ground... even in our dresses... I know we did at my wedding!
5. You're My Best Friend by Queen- because it's true, she is my best friend.

I can't wait until June 16, 2012!!!
Current Mood: chipper
25 February 2011 @ 01:27 am
Mom, please just stop yelling at everyone and going off the handle at the drop of the pin. When we are eating lunch out in public and we get into a small heated discussion, just stop conversing! Seriously? Why is that so hard.

I love you, but you drive me nuts. Do you ever wonder why Ben and I don't come around very often? How about why I only let you see Autumn when I need a babysitter? I'm so tired of you having little fits all of the time.

Yes, I am airing this out on the internet for whomever wants to read it to see, but you're going to have to get over that.

You know what else you have to get over? My life is MY LIFE! I am a big girl and my life and family have been started. I'm sorry, but you CANNOT own me and run my life anymore! I have a husband and daughter that take my full concentration now. I don't understand why you won't just let me live my life and raise my daughter how my husband and I see fit.

I realize it's hard to let go, I realize that I am your "little girl" but you need to get over the fact that I have moved out and am a "big girl" now. I just need space from you. If I decide to do things a little differently than you want, you have to get over it. Just support me, be happy for me, don't put my decisions and the way I run my life down.

Please mom, please, just let me live!
Current Mood: drained
23 February 2011 @ 10:51 am
It has been almost two years since I updated. A lot has happened.

Ben and I had our beautiful baby girl, Autumn, on June 6, 2009. She is the most amazing thing to ever have happened to me. I love her more than anything in this world. She is so smart and so big now. She's over half my height already... I am prepared to be the midget in my family pictures :/. She has a huge vocabulary (Pitza, sponbob, pop) it goes for miles... those are just her three favorite words.

We also got married on October 2, 2010. About time! After four and a half years of waiting. It was a great time! I walked down the aisle at exactly two o'clock and we were done with the ceremony by two fifteen. The reception was amazing! So many people were there that we don't get to see on a normal basis, as much as we would like to.

I am now helping my best friend in the whole world, that got engaged at my reception with my help, plan her wedding! I'm soooo excited for her, it's been even longer wait for her lol.

Ben and I finally got our own place, it's a little apartment, but it's perfect for us. Omar is being a little stinker as always. And I would love to have another baby, but that's a no go until we have agreed that we can start trying again in June 2012-- right after Alicia's wedding.
21 May 2009 @ 12:45 pm
It's been a pretty long time since I updated. I'm now 37 weeks, 4 days pregnant. I've been having A LOT of extremely frequent and painful, what we are guessing are, braxton hicks... the doctor says that labor may insue before next Tuesday (which is when I have my next appointment with him). At 36 weeks, I was measuring 39!

I honestly hope that this little one doesn't wait that long to make his or her arrival. I've been in so much pain in the last 3 nights it is ridiculous. As much as I say I want my own birthday, it would be so cool if I had the baby tomorrow... on my 19th birthday. I would actually LOVE to share the day with him or her. OMG... I really can't wait to have the baby here... I want this child in my arms........

I'll update again when Ben and I have this little bundle of joy!
09 February 2009 @ 08:26 pm
I've been having a great few weeks.
I was sitting here the other night reading every email Ben has ever sent me... they made me cry, but tears of happiness, realizing how much love we still have for each other. Sure, it's been over a two years since he sent me one of those oh so cute emails, but that Ben is still there to tell me he loves me. He's still there to make me smile. I love him more than anything on this earth. If I didn't have him... who knows where I would be right now.

According to the ultrasound tech, we should be having a little girl. She couldn't tell us for sure, because she jsut couldn't find boy parts. We'll be happy either way though. Our little Autumn or Gabriel will be with us rather soon here... okay, it's still 16+ weeks until I'm due... but that is still closer to now than before... I wish that it was closer though.

Amanda and Bret had their healthy little girl last week. SoFiana Renee Insolia is one beautiful, lucky baby. Her parents are great people... and I'm so glad that they have her.

Well, I have nothing else to say right now.

Everyone be happy and healthy!
Current Mood: chipper
06 January 2009 @ 04:28 pm
I went to see PC today. He honestly made my anxiety's all kind of slip away. I think he brought me back to my center and he made me feel better.

He made me realize that if certain people don't except the fact that we're having a baby, they may not need to be part of my life. I was having trouble accepting the fact that my aunt is really just not worth all of the stress she has been putting me under by not talking to me. She and I were really close... and now, she refuses to talk to me. Oh well!
26 December 2008 @ 01:07 pm
As of late, I've been finding myself overreacting to stupid little things. And I blame it on my pregnancy because if I wasn't pregnant... I would never think any of the dumb things that start formulating in my mind. I find myself crying over dumb things.

Yesterday for instance, I frosted some Christmas cookies. My mother slipped on the floor because of her pants positioning themselves under her feet and she knocked my cookies onto the floor breaking most of them and resulting in a ton of them having to be put in the trash. I cried... no, I bawled. I couldn't control it. I went and got in the shower and just cried.

I felt amazing when I got out of the shower though.

Then however, I couldn't find the right bra that I wanted to wear. So I sat in the middle of the hallway against the wall, in my towel, and cried again. Then my sister asked me what was wrong and when I told her nothing she proceeded to go tell my mom I was crying. My mom came and asked me and I went off about how,"I told Stephie it was nothing... and it is nothing... I just can't find my bra okay?" And she laughed at me, which made me cry more.

My entire Christmas day was ruined because I woke up to my mother yelling, again. I asked her if she could just spend CHRISTMAS not yelling and she started screaming at me. So now, Ben and I are going to look for an apartment... I'm going to stay on my mothers insurance because technically I'll still be living in their house, but I'm going to spend every night at Ben's. I just can't handle the stress of being at home anymore. And I really can't stand my mother.

Ben is right, she is a fucking manipulative bitch. She's been trying to control me since my life began... it's only gotten worse since I got pregnant. She is my mom, yeah, I love her. But I hate that woman more than anyone on the face of the planet. I'm done putting up with her shit.

I can't wait to have this baby here though. And Ben is the same way. He looked at me the other day and said, "Yeah ONLY 170 days left... it's too long." When I read him my countdown to my due date that is on my myspace. I'm so excited about actually starting our family together. And his mom is completely pumped too. She already bought me the baby's first year memory book... that goes with our nursery theme, Classic Pooh. Yes, whether it's a girl or a boy the theme will be Classic Pooh.

And I can't wait to marry Ben next year. No, we haven't set a date... in fact, we may not have the big wedding next year. We're thinking about just getting it legalized and then just have a big wedding on like our one year anniversary or something like that.

I've got so many things I'm excited about, I think this is the last one. I get to quit Wal-mart, hopefully right after the baby is born. I'm going to work from home doing either Medical Transcription or doing Medical Billing. That way I can work from home, being a stay at home mom. I can't stand Wal-mart anymore, so this is the most exciting news ever to me. I didn't think I would even be there this long... It's been almost 3 years. I don't want to work for the stupid nazi managers at that stupid store anymore.

Okay, so I think I'm done updating everyone on everything now... I'll keep you updated, hopefully more frequently now.
Current Location: My livingroom couch
Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
10 November 2008 @ 05:36 pm
I know you are just trying to help, but suggesting adoption to me was not what I was looking for. I was hoping more so for support, for my family to stand behind me. Is that so damn much to ask for?

Honestly, I don't think you know enough about mine and Ben's situation to be able to suggest any alternative actions. I am actually excited about this and then my "family" who, may I remind you, I barely know... and considering before I was four, I never had met you- or known you had existed- you have NO right to tell us that we should give our child up for adoption. I regret even telling you.

Oh and by the way, I have been engaged for the last 4 months... THANKS and fuck you.
Current Mood: cranky